Tuesday, 29 March 2011

My wife: Diva Madonna

My wife is a mystery to me. Since the day I met her I have only had small glimpses into her world. This is okay though because she is the most voluptuous babe ever born in Nebraska (her home state). Oh wow, now I'm feeling nostalgic. Let me share the story of our marriage.

I met Diva Madonna outside of an Arby's truck stop. She was sitting on a milk crate having a few smokes. Her beauty was so blinding that I had to put on my sunglasses as I approached her with caution. Okay to be honest I just wanted to hide the scratch below my eye from my pet raccoon, Agustus. To save you trouble, raccoons do not like peanut butter and belly rubs :(
So my beautiful Diva and I started chatting about milk crates and how they all look the same (who makes them?) and before you know it I was slipping her some bills and giving her a ride back to my place. True love!

We got married 16 days later. Yes, I took a chance but it's hard to find a female that will share the bed with your  pet raccoon and squirrel. She's such a kind soul, cares so much for nature. I do suspect that she's either a stripper or prostitute. She tells me that she has government connections and the Arby's job was a cover up, but I still suspect.

What do we have in common? Nothing at all, but that doesn't stop love.

Steven from work was super jealous when he saw a picture of my Diva. He was so jealous that he couldn't stop laughing. People laugh at you when they're jealous right?

Diva Madonna is making meat loaves for dinner (my favorite!). Guess who's getting laid tonight?!?! Not me...meat loaf gives me gas :(

Larry

26 comments:

  1. interesting blog, following ;)

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  2. Haha, surreal. Interested in how this blog turns out.

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  3. You seem like an eccentric guy, Larry. Following

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  4. I wish I had a wife... but I don't even have a girlfriend. Whatever, I'm gay anyway...

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  5. 16 days afterwards? Chancey!
    Kudos. :]

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  6. Darn, I was hoping for a happy ending. Hopefully, tomorrow bodes well for you!

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  7. you've got some nice template here :) +followed great post

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  8. Well that turned out different then I had expected, LOL! Great story. :]

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  9. Great story there Larry, I loved the part about your raccoon and how you got that scratch. Following ya now.

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  10. I have no idea what's going on but I like it

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  11. Hahah, ending just smashed me :D

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  12. You are one lucky guy, Larry. Lol

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  13. Nice to read about two people coming together!

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  14. interesting, interesting. i have no choice but to follow.

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  15. Herp... Great post, I'll be expecting more!

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  16. I'm watching you Larry and you better be careful what you say.

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  17. There's my sexy secret agent :) Where did you go tonight babe? I thought you were going to the 7/11 for smokes? It's 2 am and you're still out...you must be on some sort of mission for the government. I won't ask any questions, I know that pisses you off.
    I hope you made me a lunch.

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  18. Haha, this blog is so interesting.

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  19. Excellent post man! Was a really interesting read! thanks for sharing!

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