My wife is a mystery to me. Since the day I met her I have only had small glimpses into her world. This is okay though because she is the most voluptuous babe ever born in Nebraska (her home state). Oh wow, now I'm feeling nostalgic. Let me share the story of our marriage.
I met Diva Madonna outside of an Arby's truck stop. She was sitting on a milk crate having a few smokes. Her beauty was so blinding that I had to put on my sunglasses as I approached her with caution. Okay to be honest I just wanted to hide the scratch below my eye from my pet raccoon, Agustus. To save you trouble, raccoons do not like peanut butter and belly rubs :(
So my beautiful Diva and I started chatting about milk crates and how they all look the same (who makes them?) and before you know it I was slipping her some bills and giving her a ride back to my place. True love!
We got married 16 days later. Yes, I took a chance but it's hard to find a female that will share the bed with your pet raccoon and squirrel. She's such a kind soul, cares so much for nature. I do suspect that she's either a stripper or prostitute. She tells me that she has government connections and the Arby's job was a cover up, but I still suspect.
What do we have in common? Nothing at all, but that doesn't stop love.
Steven from work was super jealous when he saw a picture of my Diva. He was so jealous that he couldn't stop laughing. People laugh at you when they're jealous right?
Diva Madonna is making meat loaves for dinner (my favorite!). Guess who's getting laid tonight?!?! Not me...meat loaf gives me gas :(