Tuesday 29 March 2011

My wife: Diva Madonna

My wife is a mystery to me. Since the day I met her I have only had small glimpses into her world. This is okay though because she is the most voluptuous babe ever born in Nebraska (her home state). Oh wow, now I'm feeling nostalgic. Let me share the story of our marriage.

I met Diva Madonna outside of an Arby's truck stop. She was sitting on a milk crate having a few smokes. Her beauty was so blinding that I had to put on my sunglasses as I approached her with caution. Okay to be honest I just wanted to hide the scratch below my eye from my pet raccoon, Agustus. To save you trouble, raccoons do not like peanut butter and belly rubs :(
So my beautiful Diva and I started chatting about milk crates and how they all look the same (who makes them?) and before you know it I was slipping her some bills and giving her a ride back to my place. True love!

We got married 16 days later. Yes, I took a chance but it's hard to find a female that will share the bed with your  pet raccoon and squirrel. She's such a kind soul, cares so much for nature. I do suspect that she's either a stripper or prostitute. She tells me that she has government connections and the Arby's job was a cover up, but I still suspect.

What do we have in common? Nothing at all, but that doesn't stop love.

Steven from work was super jealous when he saw a picture of my Diva. He was so jealous that he couldn't stop laughing. People laugh at you when they're jealous right?

Diva Madonna is making meat loaves for dinner (my favorite!). Guess who's getting laid tonight?!?! Not me...meat loaf gives me gas :(

Larry
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24 comments:

  1. obi29 March 2011 at 08:57

    interesting blog, following ;)

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  2. Neuroquila29 March 2011 at 09:12

    Haha, surreal. Interested in how this blog turns out.

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  3. Unknown29 March 2011 at 10:29

    You seem like an eccentric guy, Larry. Following

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  4. doomsday29 March 2011 at 10:38

    I wish I had a wife... but I don't even have a girlfriend. Whatever, I'm gay anyway...

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  5. Girl In Coma29 March 2011 at 11:13

    16 days afterwards? Chancey!
    Kudos. :]

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  6. Patrick Holton29 March 2011 at 11:25

    Darn, I was hoping for a happy ending. Hopefully, tomorrow bodes well for you!

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  7. Whereas29 March 2011 at 11:55

    um, baffled but intrigued.

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  8. Fix PC Games Admin29 March 2011 at 12:00

    you've got some nice template here :) +followed great post

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  9. Rank29 March 2011 at 12:13

    very funny ending.

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  10. osma2929 March 2011 at 12:45

    Well that turned out different then I had expected, LOL! Great story. :]

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  11. Broccoli29 March 2011 at 12:46

    Great story there Larry, I loved the part about your raccoon and how you got that scratch. Following ya now.

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  12. Adamuss29 March 2011 at 13:20

    Hahah, ending just smashed me :D

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  13. Gabe Leith29 March 2011 at 14:18

    same here ^

    following

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  14. llllollllll29 March 2011 at 14:54

    You are one lucky guy, Larry. Lol

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  15. Aureal29 March 2011 at 17:50

    Nice to read about two people coming together!

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  16. SOMS29 March 2011 at 17:58

    true love

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  17. James Langston Evans29 March 2011 at 18:43

    interesting, interesting. i have no choice but to follow.

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  18. qwerty29 March 2011 at 18:47

    you are random indeed.

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  19. SR29 March 2011 at 19:08

    Herp... Great post, I'll be expecting more!

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  20. Diva-Madonna29 March 2011 at 19:17

    I'm watching you Larry and you better be careful what you say.

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  21. Larry Scaramouche29 March 2011 at 22:58

    There's my sexy secret agent :) Where did you go tonight babe? I thought you were going to the 7/11 for smokes? It's 2 am and you're still out...you must be on some sort of mission for the government. I won't ask any questions, I know that pisses you off.
    I hope you made me a lunch.

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  22. David29 March 2011 at 23:53

    Haha, this blog is so interesting.

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  23. Bahb30 March 2011 at 10:49

    lol this is hilarious!

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  24. SmartDroids30 March 2011 at 13:09

    I love madonna >.<

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